It's been so long since I have done a real time post... I guess they are all real time, but something that is happening right this very minute in our lives. I pulled out the Ali Edwards kit for a fun little graphic and decided to just document the every day, the mundane, our story.
My alarm went off at 4:30 am once again, but today I gave into the desire to sleep. Today I wasn't strong and I didn't even bother to push snooze I just turned it off and rolled over. I have been working so hard to get healthy this past year and I have a long way to go, just not at 4:30 this morning. I feel okay about it. I've met my goal, even with a week of sickness of working out more days than not in the month. Tomorrow I will be stronger. I'm okay with my weakness, it's what will help me to become strong.
8 am found us at the DMV where Gus officially received her drivers license. It has been a long process and one that has involved denial on my part. When did my baby girl grow up? I don't know that I feel confident with her skills, of course I doubt I will ever be confident, not because she isn't a good driver... it's just that there are so many variables. How can she be prepared for them all. Putting on my brave mommy face and praying that she will be safe as she starts this new phase of her life.
8:45 am grocery shopping, because apparently "our home was devoid of food." It's interesting to shop with Gus, I normally go shopping with Loaf which is always an adventure. The people that work the check out know us and always ask us about what party we are throwing or what our grocery bill must be like each month. We usually just smile. Feeding our family is an adventure, one sack is over flowing with broccoli and zucchini, another filled only with bananas and a third with apples. I appreciate that my children love fruits and vegetables.
10 am It's the end of the month and I find myself evaluating my to do list. What needs to get done quickly today and what will have to wait? I have found the last week that my "bullet journal" method motivates me to get things done so that I don't transfer them to the next month. I can reassess goals, evaluate the successes and learn from the failures. I also find that I want to do more, make my lists pretty.... use more fluff. I am resisting the urge to move on to something different. I like this system and it's working really well for me. I also don't want to have another book so I'm sticking with what is working. I will probably draw a little bit more each month, include a little more fun. I recently saw a calendar were someone drew something for each day in the squares. That might be an interesting way to work a month.
10:15 am Despite everything I have and need to accomplish today I spent the morning outside with the babies. Their laughter drew me out. I couldn't help myself, neither could Guelita who brought her breakfast out to watch them zipping down the hill. I don't know if there is a more perfect street to live on in the world. Our own little haven. So today, I put aside the things for the beauty of a conversation with my Guelita. The lists and deadlines waited while I listened to the harrowing experience of each ride down the road. I watched Ellie try to slow the children down each time, she doesn't like it when they good to fast. She is a good little protector.
I don't know why I forget to spend more time in the joy of childhood. I know I'm going to miss this. I miss it with the bigger children. I don't want to go back, but I have a greater appreciation for the ever changing lives we lead. Moments like this can be fleeting. I need to stop and recognize how precious they are in our lives. A couple of hours outside in the sun and I'm ready to tackle lunch.