I always love the new year. I love the weeks before of reflection and assessment. I enjoy seeing the progress I have made and the things I have learned. Often I am frustrated by the things that were not accomplished, but a new year is a fresh start. A new journal, a new calendar, new goals waiting to be mastered.
A new year for me offers hope. It is a hope that I can do better in the days and weeks to come. That I can take the ordinary woman that I am and work towards becoming an exceptional person.
As I was contemplating the year of 2013, with all it's ups and downs, I considered all the I had learned and evaluated my relationship with each of the people that mean the most to me. I tried to show greater love this past year and in return received an abundance of love and support.
It made me wonder if I had consciously created a theme or goal for the year. One that perhaps I had not intended to make. I contemplated what would happen if I intentionally started the year purposefully. It seemed almost immediate after those thoughts that my darling cousin proclaimed her word of the year 2014. Ali started advertising her "One Little Word" class, and I decided "Why not?"
I will have to make a confession, Ali's class and movement is not something I was unfamiliar with, it was just something I refused to do because everyone else was doing it. I'm stubborn like that, but I signed up and as usual Ali is insightful and wonderfully inspiring. However my participation in the class is not the reason I am writing all this. I am sharing these thoughts because the past few weeks have been extremely insightful for me.
The process of choosing my word or theme was lovely. I immediately knew I wanted to change, but the word change for me has a slightly negative connotation. I feel like when I need to change I have done things that are incorrect or wrong. Which, in reality I have, but I didn't want a word that would make me feel bad throughout the year. It made me think back to those dark nights of depression when I would plead with the Lord to change me or let me die. The word change is lovely and perhaps I should have chosen it this year so that I would have positive feelings associated with it, but I didn't.
So analyzed and waited. Waiting and searching knowing that my word would find me. Now least you think this was all some magical journey, it wasn't. It was just those thoughts that you keep in the back of your mind that you think about periodically throughout the day. That was my searching process. Then one day the word become was just there in my mind and I knew that was the perfect word that would sum up all that I wanted to accomplish this next year.
verb (used without object), be·came, be·come, be·com·ing.
1.to come to be, change, develop or grow in to or be
2. to come into being.
verb (used with object), be·came, be·come, be·com·ing.
3. to be attractive on; befit in appearance; look well on
4. to be suitable or necessary to the dignity, situation, or responsibility of
I want to become healthy.
I want to become strong.
I want to become holy, patient, and full of love.
I want to become more intelligent (learning and growing).
I want to become an artist.
I want to become compassionate.
I want to become His.
Become suggests that I'm not perfect and there isn't a perception that I should be. Become to me means a journey, long perhaps, but one that is filled with purpose. I have had many promptings about what the Lord needs me to do through this process and meditation. I would really like to become the woman He needs me to be so that I can accomplish all that is required.
I look forward to all that I will learn this coming year. My heart is full of faith and hope.
On a side note which I will talk about tomorrow, I have started scrapbooking again. I created my "become" card and printed it on the back of this advertising card that came in my Studio Calico kit. I am excited to actually use some of the things I have been creating.