Sometimes I don't realize I'm praying for something until the answer comes. Sometimes I am more conscious about what I am praying for and the answer is far away. I still have things to learn. Often the answers are immediate and not what I intend.
As I was sitting in church on Sunday I was thinking about a small prayer I uttered a few months ago. I wanted to go to church consistently and regularly. Now you might think this is a simple thing, something trivial to burden the Lord with, but for me it was just a heart felt desire.
I had just spent the majority of the last few months home as a result of my ankle injury. Before that my attendance was spotty, because I am usually the one to stay home with a sick child. When you have a family as large as mine and a virus that doesn't affect everyone at the same time this can be a lengthy period of illness. Winter is the worst. We seem to catch everything and I seem to miss a great deal of church.
Now I don't want to you think that John doesn't stay home and help. He does, he has had a calling that required him to be at church each Sunday and I have not. The big girls are also very wonderful in helping give me a week or two at church, but I hate for them to miss the wonderful lessons their teachers prepare so I try not to let that happen very often.
In expressing all this, I'm not looking for sympathy. This is our lives and I know it won't always be this way, but I was at the point that day of needing some divine intervention. So that was my prayer, please let me be with my family even if it's hard, because reverence is not something we have mastered yet.
The answer came so slowly I almost missed it. One week turned into two, two into three, and before I realized it I had been at church each week for a few months. It's also not that we haven't had illnesses, but by Sunday everyone has been better. It has been a little miracle. A miracle just for me and I didn't appreciate that it was happening.
I was caught up in reassuming a small child that going to the bathroom 5 times in a meeting is just not necessary, especially this particular child with an iron bladder. I was busy trying to referee arguments over coloring pages and crayons. Hushed moments of teaching and frantic hand signals telling Brick not to sneak the extra sacrament bread during the primary program filled each passing moment. (Brick is always hungry and he was seating just behind the sacrament table. It was too tempting for a little hungry boy.)
In all my mothering I was missing the blessing the Lord was providing, partaking of the sacrament and renewing my baptismal covenants each week. It was adding peace to my life and I was slow to recognize my blessing.
I don't know what this winter will bring and perhaps I will be absent a little more than usual, but I will remember that the Lord is mindful of my desires, of all our desires. He knows how to bless us and wants to show us miracles no matter how small.
For without these miracles, I would have missed an attack of kisses one Sunday from Dash, Loaf, and Brick. The kissing sounds could be heard many rows in all directions as well as some suppressed giggles. I walked away that day with some bruises from all the permanent kisses that were vacuumed onto my face so thankful to be a mother trying to teach her children about reverence.