We had the unique opportunity a while ago to help take care of a beautiful baby girl. She was a sweetheart and the children looked forward to snuggling with her. Baby girl was abandoned by her mother and her father was really struggling in his role as a father. We were "5th string" babysitters in a vast support system, every possible and available resource was made to help both the father and sweet baby girl.
Rock took particular interest in baby girl's well being and was constantly asking questions about her mother and father. I quickly realized that he felt a connection to her as he was facing some of his own "demons". He understands that he was not abandoned. His birth mother loved him and making the choice she did was perhaps the hardest thing she has ever done, but in his young mind he is having a hard time not feeling abandoned. He can't understand why she wouldn't choose him. He can't see the sacrifice, he sometimes only feels the pain. He is sure his birth mother is dead for that would be the only conceivable reason to not be in contact with him.
Now a year later Rock will still occasionally ask about this sweet baby, if I've heard any news and if her mother ever decided to come back. He also asks me other questions, "Mom, what if I left the church would you still love me?"
"Mom, what if I ended up in prison would you still love me?"
"If I were to walk away and never return would you still love me?"
"If I died today would you cry and miss me?
I feel the tears well up in my eyes, as I try to control my emotions and lovingly tell him that I will always love him, no matter what. I'm his mother and that's what mother's do. I remind him that his birth mother loves him even though she made the choice to place him for adoption because she is still his birth mother and that's what mother's do. When he lets me I give him huge hugs, when he doesn't I pray that the tenderness on my face will be enough, because I'm his mother and that's what mother's do.
I love you son. I will always be there for you, especially when times get rough.