maturity

I've been thinking about what it means to be mature.  Is there a magical moment when you know you have arrived?  Does it include watching Mulan everyday with your baby girl?

When I look back at the people I thought were mature and refined, they didn't do things like read young adult literature and enjoy a good princess love story.  They were serious in their endeavors and their book choices reflected the maturity of their lives. I on the other hand delight in reading "Sheila Ray's peppermint stick" or "A bad case of Stripes".

When I think about being mature, I certainly don't think about the number to text conversations I have with my girls and even one of their friends. I might be concerned and feel creepy about it, if I didn't love her like my own daughter, but still shouldn't I be setting the example of maturity and respectability not conversing with my thumbs.

Maturity is defined as: full development; perfected condition.

I am the farthest from this definition. I'm working to become the woman I want to be, but it is going to take more time and patience. Perhaps all this rambling comes from watching my children reach milestone after milestone.  Their paths right now are set in neat little lines with achievements that we praise.  My path at this point seems a little unclear.

Not because I don't know where I'm going or who I would like to become, but I'm looking for those markers that say look how far you've come, you are well on your way and I'm not sure I can see them anymore. 

Graduate: check

University: check (of course I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up so maybe that is only 1/2 a check until I officially finish)

Marriage: HUGE CHECK! (best decision ever)

Children: ANOTHER HUGE CHECK (of course my job with them is still not done.  Best decision ever)

now.....

I sit and look at my reflection in the mirror and wonder, am I doing enough?  Where does my life go from this point on?

I am completely satisfied in the life I lead.  I am blessed beyond measure.  I run and play, tickle and tease, act like a teenager when we play cards at night, watch ridiculous vampire soap opera shows until the wee morning hours with my teenagers, look for ways to to snuggle with the babies, avoid the laundry until the stench is too much to bear, and hope that along the way I will reach maturity.

I hope that our lives will be filled with the saving moments that testify of a merciful Lord and Savior.  I plead with the Lord to make my efforts enough.  That despite my immaturity, He will provide that added strength when the homesickness is too much to bear, when the fear is overwhelming and you have to run upstairs and climb into mom and dad's bed.  I pray that His spirit will touch their hearts when the doubts creep in or when life is imperfect and you wonder if you are enough.

It is in these moments that I feel His love envelop me.  I feel His strength as tears stream down my face. I praise His name.  He is my all.  All glory be His, as I slow moved toward maturity.

Comments

[Lydia]

I feel the exact same way Allison! I look around all the time, count the years that supposedly belong to me, and wonder why I haven't achieved maturity yet. It makes me wonder if my mom felt this way at my age. Of course, I often hear my mom talk about how immature she still is, as well. I guess it's one of those things where the journey and the general direction of our progress are more important than whether or not we actually achieve the end goal in this life. Loves!

[Eileen]

Hi Allison, I'll warn you now that this is a very lengthy comment!

I feel just like this. I'm 56 years old but inside my head I'm still 20! My gut reaction to a lot of situations is the reaction of the inner 20 year old but the older me kicks in and actually deals with whatever. I can remember my mum saying the same thing when I was in my teens and at the time thought it was a strange thing for her to say, but now totally understand it. I used to look at other people and wonder how they managed to leave their younger self behind and become so 'mature'. I've decided recently that it's likely that everyone feels like me to a greater or lesser extent and that quite often the 'really mature' ones have, in fact, just lost touch with their inner child.

I, on the other hand am truly in touch with my inner child! I have grown up responsibilities (Ced, my partner has a terminal illness) and deal with those accordingly but whenever possible I allow the 'child' to the front. So, if I want to read a book, chat to a friend, play and instrument, reminisce with Ced, etc. then the housework and laundry is left and is done eventually. Our home isn't pristine but we don't care!

I think I'm trying to say that on one level, maturity is realising what your priorities are, and then living your life accordingly. The following text was actually on Facebook this morning and it really sums up what I mean. I hope it resonates with you.

Life in a Jar

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. ‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else — The small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,
there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So… Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

‘Take care of the golf balls first — The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled ‘I’m glad you asked’. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, There’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.

[Tina]

I love that story about the jar and the rocks and pebbles. It's a story I've shared many times.

Allison, you always know when to post something that just knocks my socks off. You have a way of saying what is on my mind and in my heart in nearly exactly the same words I would use if I have your gifts, or the time, or a second to myself to contemplate the larger picture. In any given day, when my every moment is consumed with sand and coffee, I love coming here to ponder and appreciate the rocks. The rocks that bind us.

Love you, sweet friend.